The Greatest Rivalry

There are certain facts of life that everyone accepts as true. You need food and water to live. The summer will be hotter than the winter. Tim Tebow is going to tell someone that he’s gonna, “Work hard and listen to the coaches and do whatever it takes to win and really happy to be here and EVERYONE Recycle!” (interesting, no mention as to how his abilities are going to equate to victory or what he is actually going to do). The Baltimore Orioles will be out of playoff contention come June 1. Spring baseball games just sort of lack a sense of urgency – that is, except for a certain series between two certain rivals.

There do not exist more exciting, intense, and important (at least seemingly) regular season games than those between the Yankees and Sox. The hatred between the two is almost biblical, dating back for as long as professional baseball has existed. Yankee fans hate everything the Red Sox stand for and the same can be said for Boston fans’ opinions towards New York. It is impossible to like one without hating the other to the same extent.

After reading that last sentence, maybe there are some people who would say to me, “Gee, I don’t know about that one, Adam. I mean, you are nearly always correct in your often, highly opinionated stances and I recognize the fact that for me to second guess you would be an act of treason. However, I like the _______but don’t particularly have a deep rooted and unwavering hatred against the ________.” In response, I would first thank this said person for the accurate complement and then say something like, “How can you say that? You aren’t actually a fan! Get out of my face; I have no time for you. You don’t know what it means to follow sports.”

In no way, shape, or form can you actually be a fan then, right? How can a Red Sox fan not hate me when I write about how miserable their team is? How can a Red Sox fan be okay with the fact that they support a team that has the resources to be aggressive in free agency but just can’t get it right? How can a Red Sox fan not fantasize about hurling my averagely built body from the top of the Green Monster when I tell them that they wish their team was run in the same way that the Yankees run their franchise, and that for as long as they are fans (which will probably be for their entire lives. As much as I hate everything about the team, I find most fans to be loyal) they will constantly be envious of the Yankees and use their success as a measuring stick of their own team’s performance?

You know a rivalry is big when it invades into other sports; much in the same way you know how to quickly identify a pesky rash. Excluding the Tar Heels, Boston area sports make up three of my four most hated teams (Patriots and Celtics). I really don’t care much about hockey but for the purpose of this argument, the Bruins may as well be number five on the list. The way I see it, if the Pat’s, C’s, or B’s lose, that means Red Sox fans aren’t happy. Sounds great to me. Maybe the low morale will actually affect the attendance at Sox games and resultantly, the overall performance of the team.

I really do enjoy the rivalry, though. As much as I hate Boston sports teams, I would never want to see them disappear. Everybody needs an enemy. What is superman without Lex Luther, Batman without the Joker? Without enemies they’d just be a couple of dudes running around in tights, meddling in people’s business. “It’s a bird, it’s a plane, no, it’s superman!” – “Yeah, but that son of a bitch just threw my car! My fuckin’ laptop was in there too! And my mother-in-law! Is he gonna pay for the damage or is he just gonna leap a tall building in a single bound and leave me for broke!?”

I think the Yankees are Superman and Sox fans think the Yanks are Lex Luther. That’s exactly what makes the rivalry so great. In either case, I think Sox and Yankee fans can actually agree on one thing. That whining civilian pissed about the damage; well that guy is definitely the Orioles.

-AW