When we look back on the 2011 NFL season, it is imperative
that we place it in its proper context.
To say there has been inconsistency would be like saying the NBA season
is officially over – no, duh.
As the NBA continues its march towards imminent doom, I
think it is an appropriate time to reflect on the 136 day heart attack that the
NFL was somehow able to overcome (in the loosest sense of the word). This past Sunday confirmed the truth
about the 2011 season, the dissolved offseason has had a monumental impact on
the league. The quality of play
this year is down, plain and simple.
Year of the quarterback? Give me a break; it’s the year of the
battered, unprepared pass defense coupled with the physically rusty and
only-finally-getting-in-shape running backs. Oh, and did I mention the transition of the NFL to a two
hand touch league with players who are too busy catching up on missed preseason
instruction to bother to learn and adapt to it? There is one great team (Green Bay), two terrible ones (Miami,
Indianapolis), and twenty-nine mediocre to above average ones (everyone
else).
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| There is nobody in the NFL playing like Aaron Rodgers - the reason why the Pack won't lose a game this season. |
For the ninth straight week, America was offered a plethora
of head scratching performances.
The Patriots, who were coming off a game against Pittsburgh in which
they looked totally outmatched, lost consecutive games for just the third time
since 2003 and had their first home defeat of the Obama administration. New England looked ugly start to finish
and Brady, who recorded his worst game of the season, looked, at times (gasp!)
terrible. The G-men had his number
and he looked legitimately afraid of getting hit, missing wide open targets
more often than (of all people) Marc Sanchez. It’s hard to believe this is the same quarterback who, after
the first three weeks of the season, had many ludicrously believing that he
would surpass Marino’s single season passing mark.
Meanwhile, the Giants look like the second or third best
team in the NFC, but in what season would a team that barely squeaked wins over
the hapless Dolphins and Cardinals, not to mention a Bills team that this week
looked like, well, the Buffalo Bills, be regarded so highly (although, I have
to give major props to Eli right now)?
They’re second best by default.
It’s going to take a seriously intimidating handshake from Jim Harbaugh
to convince people that his 49ers are for real. The Lions still are yet to play the Packers. The Saints got destroyed by the
Rams. Is there really any reason
for teams to be afraid of the Cowboys or Eagles aside from the fact that they should be? The point is, in any other season, would these be the teams
that make up the top five in the conference? No way.
The AFC might be even worse. Are any of the three first place AFC East teams for
real? In answer to that question,
I pose another one: Would you really
feel confident taking any of them over last place Miami? The Bengals are tied atop the North,
but the two best teams they’ve beaten are 5-3 Buffalo and 4-4 Tennessee (maybe
the two worst .500 plus teams in the NFL.
Then again, KC, Oakland, and Tampa might have something to say about
that). We all know why the Texans
are in the playoffs. Philip Rivers
it playing the best football of any
AFC West quarterback. The division may overtake their NFC counterparts as the
NFL’s worst. A 7 – 9 playoff squad
is a distinct possibility.
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| All hail the best QB of the AFC West |
Even more curious than the Giants-Pats game is the Baltimore
– Pittsburgh affair. Coming into
this game, I was almost ready to announce that Pittsburgh had assumed the role
of the AFC’s best and as a legitimate Super Bowl caliber team but, now, that is
totally forgotten. The Ravens are
clearly better, especially when we recall the week one ass-kicking. But are the Ravens really the class of
the AFC? Is this not the same team
that played the second ugliest game of the entire NFL season in a Sunday night
game against the Jets (the ugliest being the Jet’s performance that same game),
scored just one touchdown in a losing effort against Jacksonville, and needed
the biggest comeback in franchise history to beat the Cardinals? If that’s the team the road to the
Super Bowl is going to run through, it’s going to be smooth riding for whoever
takes it.
So, what does all this mean? Obviously this means that I am a football genius and have
correctly predicted a 19 – 0 season for Green Bay. However, if we pretend for a second that this is not the case
(but we all know it is), who can challenge the Packers?
I see four teams that can stand in Green Bay’s way. Keep in mind, these do not represent
the four next best teams, but the ones who matchup best against the God, Aaron
Rodgers.
4. Atlanta Falcons – The one NFC threat, Atlanta, is the
only team in the NFL to suffer only “acceptable” losses (week 1 at Chicago,
week 3 at Tampa, week 5 vs. Green Bay) and have wins against “quality”
opponents (week 2 vs. Philadelphia, week 7 at Detroit, could maybe argue week 6
vs. Cam Newton-ina). Atlanta can
run the football and dominate time of possession, taking the ball out of
Rodgers’s hands. They also have playmakers
to match, especially in the form of rookie Julio Jones, who after this
weekend’s breakout performance, is showing shades of Mike Wallace. Once Roddy White awakens from his
fantasy-team-tanking slumber the fun will really begin for ATL (expect this to
happen next week against New Orleans).
3. New York Jets – Homer pick! Homer pick! Think what you will but the fact is the
Jets defense probably matches up better against the Packers offense than any
other D in football. Opposing
quarterbacks have a 59.4 rating against New York this season, the lowest in the
league. Revis is having the best
season of his career, Cromartie looks more comfortable in his role than ever
before, and Kyle Wilson is quietly looking like a pro-bowl caliber DB. If their run game continues to improve,
then, much like Atlanta, they can take the ball away from the future 2011 MVP. Also recall the Jets vs. Packers game
from last season in which Rex Ryan and crew held Rodgers to 170 passing yards
(his fewest of the season) and the offense to just 9 points (their second
lowest number).
2. Baltimore Ravens – I’m hesitant to include them, but, to
be fair, their offensive woes are certainly no more insulting than those of the
Jets. Their pass defense ranks in
the top five, but a lot of this is due to dominance in the front seven rather
than the back four. Their corners
are beatable. Nonetheless, Ray
Rice can keep them in a game and they have shown the ability to win ugly, a
skill that may supersede any other in this lockout-altered season.
1. Houston Texans – Don’t look now but the Houston Texans
have a top two pass defense. They
rank second in both yards allowed and QB rating against. Even more so than anyone else on this
list, Houston can compete with the firepower of Green Bay. Schaub has been good,
not great, this season but has been without Andre Johnson for some time
now. Meanwhile, Arian Foster is
making a serious case for best running back in the NFL.
Notable
exclusions:
New York Giants – Manning has been great late, but
inconsistent early. Rodgers is
great all the time. Unlike
Sanchez, Manning does not have the best 3-cornerback scheme (sorry Phili) in
football to bail him out.
New England Patriots – What is pass defense?
Pittsburgh Steelers – The running game must be more
reliable. Rodgers will outduel Roethlisberger (again).
As the second half of the season begins, it is important not
to be overly reactionary to recent results. However, I seriously believe that the top teams in football
right now are the same teams that are going deep into the playoffs. Teams finally have entered a level of
preparation and football fitness that they usually have at the start of
seasons. It just took some time
for this to happen. Everything
before now has been as much about luck (i.e. avoiding injuries and mindboggling
losses from lack of preparation) as it has been about skill.
In the meantime, here are the results for the Sweet 16 in
the WFHCB. As usual, it was
thrilling.
Busted Gut Region
Mike Munchak vs. Sean Payton
It’s official; there’s a new fan chant/arm display, which is
a hybrid of two of the world’s most beloved simple orchestral and action
performances. It combines the
famous J-E-T-S chant with the “Florida Chomp” to create a multi-faceted
assault. Behold: “M-I-K-E, (now
using the gator chomp) MUNCH! MUNCH! MUNCH!” Winner: Munchak
Marvin Lewis vs. Pat Shurmur
With his only win over the lowly Tony Sparano, Lewis is yet
to defeat a quality opponent.
Meanwhile, trainer Heyton Pillis is still no where to be found for
Shurmur. Nonetheless, Shurmur is
able to overpower the boring Marvin Lewis to set up an ex-offensive lineman
battle in the regional final. Winner:
Shurmur
Ass Kickin’ Region
Jim Harbaugh vs. Jim Schwartz
Last week the Jims were fighting with a purpose for the
opportunity to face off against one another in the Sweet 16. The marquee game of the tournament thus
far, Harbaugh is finally given the opportunity to smash in the face of Schwartz. Schwartz is finally given the opportunity
to body rush Harbaugh.
Interestingly enough, Schwartz is none too pleased with Harbaugh’s “poor
sportsmanship” in the pre-fight, topless stare-down. Harbaugh later admits his wrong doing, claiming, “I blinked
too aggressively.” Like most
highly anticipated affairs, the actual fight itself fails to live up to the
hype. Harbaugh channels his inner
Mike Singletary (I can’t lose to him… CAN’T
DO IT!). Winner: Harbaugh
Hue Jackson vs. Bill Belichick
Hue Jackman – I mean, Jackson – continues to look as though
he was destined for futuristic fighting.
Belichick again comes out very well prepared and during the past week,
curiously told reporters, “Hey, at least I don’t wear bright pink, polka dotted
short-shorts when I train!” Jackson was obviously confused as to how Belichick
could have possibly known this. Winner: Jackson
Bone Saw Region
Jim Caldwell vs. Ken Whisenhunt
Coming off his shocking dismemberment of John Harbaugh,
Caldwell continued his rigorous training program with Madame Tussauds. Whisenhunt gets the first jab in this
fight, but curiously breaks his hand upon colliding with Caldwell’s face. Let’s just say it was all downhill from
there. Winner: Caldwell
Jack Del Rio vs. Raheem Morris
Everyone’s favorite underachiever, Jack Del Rio, cannot
compete with the agility of Morris.
Winner: Morris
Jersey Shore Ron Region
Mike Tomlin vs. Mike Smith
Tomlin carries his momentum from crushing the librarian,
Chan Gailey, into this bout with Mike Smith. Smith comes out hot, sending Tomlin into series jeopardy of
losing. However, Tomlin harnesses
his inner Dr. Eric Forman, self-patches up his wounds, and produces the most
dramatic come-from-behind victory of the round. Winner: Tomlin
Jason Garrett vs. Ron Rivera
The six foot, three inch Rivera eats pieces of shit like
Jason Garrett for breakfast. You
eat pieces of shit for breakfast? Yes. Winner:
Rivera
Updated Bracket:
Round Summary
Much like in the first round, the story continues to be
number 29 overall seed, Jim Caldwell, continues to cruise effortlessly through
the competition. Meanwhile, the other
top seeds seem determined to win their region. Caldwell and Hue Jackson are the only coaches left who were
originally seeded outside of the top 2.
Prepare yourself for Round 3, where we separate the men from the boys
and the heads from the bodies.
-AW
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