There’s been a lot of talk lately about how the league can
resolve its dunk contest problem.
What was long ago a conglomeration of the league’s most exciting players
has become a gathering of it’s “rising stars” – that is to say, it is comprised
of four players who are not yet above the banality of the event. This year’s contestants, Paul George,
Derrick Williams, Jeremy Evans, and Chase Budinger, are so unheard of that Arne
Duncan, the 47-year-old US Secretary of Education fresh off a dazzling Celeb-Game, is
seriously contemplating signing himself up as well.
Some have contended that it may be time to take a hiatus on
the Dunk Contest. After all, the
2000 Vincanity Dunk Contest came in the wake of a three year layoff and,
perhaps because of a nation-wide longing for the event’s return, proved to be one
of the greatest in history. But if
the questions is whether or not we should do the same now with the contest at
perhaps an all-time low, the answer is a definitive no.
“Rising Stars” often gets a bad rap and rightfully so; the
nomenclature is the Association’s poor attempt to justify the lack of big-name
talent. However, it’s actually not too far off. Guys like Jason Richardson, Gerald
Wallace, Richard Jefferson, Josh Smith, Andre Iguodala, Nate Robinson, and
Javale McGee, while not necessarily perennial all-stars, made their debuts
prior to or at the early beginnings of their increased significance around the
league. Even Dwight Howard and Amare
Stoudemire, both of whom competed in numerous contests, did so before they
reached superstardom. Could one of
this year’s dunkers join them?
The bottom line is, nearly every NBA players can produce
some impressive dunks and, hopefully, George, Williams, Evans, and Budinger are
not exceptions. Obviously a LeBron
vs. Griffin DC might be the most entertaining hour of televised athletics ever,
but there’s plenty to hope for in this year’s installment. Anyone who thinks we should cancel the
contest because the keg of possible dunks was kicked long ago clearly forgot
about the new one sitting in the backyard. If tonight’s dunk contest is going to be exciting, they will
need to tap it. Here’s a short
list of dunks that (A) have not been done in a long time, (B) I have never
seen, and/or (C) are too absurd to have been attempted.
360° Behind-the-Back
We have a 6-foot hoop in our house and it’s surprisingly
durable. Attempting to dunk on
something only a few inches taller than you is awkward, but the fact that
nobody in my house has been able to do this dunk must make it pretty freakin
impossible on the real thing. If
someone can throw this one down they should win.
Cupcake
Without question, the strangest dunk in contest history was
Gerald Green’s “HE BLEW IT OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!” dunk of 2008 in which he
extinguished a lit candle on a cupcake that was resting behind the rim. Someone definitely should have put in
those trick candles that relight themselves. How can this get topped? Forget the candle, I want someone to take a bite out of the
tasty treat.
You have to wonder how bad Green's munchies
were when he came up with this one
Double Dunk
Javale McGee had a few variations on a double dunk last
year, but what I have in mind with this one in entirely different. Once someone actually completes the
dunk they usually enjoy a casual fall back to the ground, but the double dunk
would change that. This one’s a
bit harder to envision so I’ll give a step-by-step explanation.
--Step 1: Attempt a consistent, good dunk (i.e.
full-extension windmill)
--Step 2: Just as the dunker takes off, a helper lobs a
second ball towards the rim.
--Step 3: Immediately after flushing the first ball, the
dunker identifies the second ball that should be within inches of the rim.
--Step 4: On his way down from the hoop the dunker grabs the
second ball and dunks that one as well.
**Caveat: The
point is for this to happen very quickly.
The dunker cannot hang on the rim and wait for the ball to arrive. It should be a natural, fluid series of
movements.
Behind the Foul Line
Serge Ibaka has a right to feel as though he was robbed of
the title last year after he pulled off probably the longest dunk in contest
history; only the tips of his toes grazed the foul line. Maybe it’s because there’s nothing
particularly flashy about a foul-line dunk, but we really hadn’t seen someone
do it successfully in a very long time.
Breaking the dunk out again in 2012 might come off as a bit stale, that
is unless someone can dunk from even further back.
Live from Mars
Stool Dunk
Who says you have to dunk a ball? Contestants love to have their teammates join in the
festivities as lob-guys. It looks
cool when dunks become alley-oops rather than straightforward ones, but I’ve
been doing that since first grade (off a diving board or on a small hoop). Catching a ball in midair is
elementary. So why not try it with
a more aerodynamically problematic item, like, say, a stool? Watching someone attempt to catch and
slam mid-sized furniture sounds way more impressive.
Under-the-Leg Windmill
This is probably the most challenging of any dunk listed and
pretty much what it sounds like.
When most NBA stars attempt highflying dunks, they throw their legs way
back. The under-the-leg windmill calls
for someone switching the ball from their non-dominant hand to their
dunking-hand under their kneecaps with their legs at a 90°
angle. As is the case for most
basketball scenarios, lankier players will have a distinct advantage.
“If a pretty girl’s dumb… it don’t matter.”
Dunk Over a CAR
I love Blake Griffin, but that winning car-dunk was
bullshit. I wouldn’t go so far as
to say he did not deserve to win last year, but the KIA-sponsored finale was
L-A-M-E. After all the fanfare of
bringing in the car, Griffin simply leaped over its hood, which is kind of like
jumping over an average sized table or large chair. The fact that Griffin elected not to defend his title this
year would make car one-upmanship a very pointed event. Of course, Griffin could offer numerous
rebuttal dunks as evidence of his superiority, none of which took place in a dunk contest.
I love NBA All-Star weekend and I don’t want to see the end
of its main event.
-AW
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